All I Want for Christmas?

We're on the way home from Louisiana, after visiting my Mom & Dad. We had a great time. Alex was pretty patient about the ride, the wait to open presents, etc. Until we started back, that is. A half hour before our stop to spend the night in Tuscaloosa, he'd had it. He'd watched Abbott & Costello Go to Mars and Abbott & Costello Lost in Alaska. There was less than an hour to the hotel, so we told him no more movies. Then came the fidgeting, whining and complaining. He basically had ants in his pants. We tried to tell him we didn't care for the ride either but that didn't phase him any. I then told him that Mimi and Paw really live only 15 minutes from our house but we just drive in circles for 11 or so hours to torture him. I almost got a smile.

When we got to the hotel he was wild. He was hopping and running and dancing. We tried to calm him down but it didn't work. When we got back from dinner the dance competition continued despite the confined space. Then, while removing his hoodie to wash his hands (and dancing), he slammed his forehead into the marble sink in the bathroom. He came up with a purple goose egg on the forehead, howling. He's really lucky that he had the hoodie over his head to cushion the blow. I thought it looked awful, but within 15 minutes he'd recovered sufficiently to eat his dessert. By bedtime, there was still a bruise, but no bump or swelling. Since I checked his symptoms on the web, I guess I'll let him go to sleep. (After checking the size of his pupils!) Let's hope tomorrow's trip goes faster and smoother. Homeward bound!

Meet Me in St. Louis (Or Not)

Six weeks ago I had to go to St. Louis for a work meeting. I usually enjoy the trip after getting over the guilt of leaving Art and Alex and the butterflies in my stomach over flying. I get to stay in a nice hotel, learn new things, see old friends and eat good food. This trip was more of a mixed bag.

I decided the weekend before I left that I should spend extra time with Alex to make it up to him. (It was only a 3 day trip.) Alex gave a wonderful performance the afternoon before I left. He teared up and everything, sniffling when I offered to bring him a surprise, "All I want is you!" Art said it was all an act. I told him that I'd take him to school in the morning like normal and that Art would pick him up. "You won't even know I'm gone until the afternoon!" "I'll know!" he wailed. Sigh. Nothing like a load of guilt to lighten your carry-on case.

The trip out was uneventful other than a minor delay in Atlanta, which is always to be expected. It worked out in my favor, anyway. Instead of coming in an hour or so before anyone else I got there at about the same time as one of the women from Greenville, so we shared a ride into town from the airport. I'd been trying to decide if I wanted to brave the Metro or shell out for a cab. The car service was a much better choice.

Our hotel was beautiful, downtown, just a block from the Arch. (The picture of half the Arch was from my window on the 8th floor.) It was also across the street from the Dred Scott Courthouse and on the Lewis & Clark Greenway. After checking out my room, the lobby and the Starbucks inside, we headed over to the Arch. I'd been before but I picked up a few souvenirs for the guys and we contemplated the little tram that takes people up to the top of the Arch. I am not riding that high up in a tiny tin can to see a view of the city. I was quite pleased with my view from the hotel. My co-workers decided to take the tour the next morning, while I slept in.

The second night was when things went south. After a full day of cramming our heads full of information, they took us for a nice dinner at a restaurant near the hotel. Our group stopped in front of the Arch for a picture on the way. We made it back to the hotel a little after 8. I was still living on Eastern time zone hours, so I got into my PJs, got my book and proceeded to watch what I wanted to watch on TV. (Doesn't happen that often at home.)

At several places in the hallway there were signs saying that 9 pm to 8 am were "quiet time" and that guests should respect others and be quiet. Sometime around 9 I started hearing a commotion at the end of the hall. I really didn't pay that much attention. Then, a few minutes later, someone started knocking on the doors in the hall and calling out "Housekeeping!" I could not figure out what was happening, so I went to check it out. Turns out a sprinkler head had let loose and there was a wave of water about 4-6 inches high rolling down the hall towards me. I went back in my room and shut the door. Housekeeping shoved a towel in front of the door to keep the water out. I ignored them. By 9:30 I was curious enough to look out the peephole again. The people across the hall were moving out. I opened the door and asked if we had to move. The lady said no, but they would be cleaning up for hours. I went back in the room.

I looked around. All my stuff was laid out for the next day. I'd already ironed and just thought it would be an awful lot of trouble to get dressed, get packed and move. I called the front desk. I told them where I was and asked if I had to move. The girl at the front desk said if I didn't have water in the room I didn't have to, but they would move me if I wanted to. I asked how late and how loud the clean-up was going to be. She told me it might take a few hours but that it shouldn't be any louder than it was now. LIAR!!!

Here is the point at which I could have escaped and gotten an actual good night's sleep. I compare this to the moment in August 1996 when I was listening to the news while driving down the LBJ in Dallas. How long could it possibly take to remove a fallen electrical line from the highway? Stupid, stupid, stupid. If I'd just gotten off then I wouldn't have sat in 100+ degree heat until the car overheated, forcing me to drive up the shoulder (following many other idiots) and off the highway on the grass until I could get to a full-service gas station.

Anyway, I missed this opportunity as well. The clean-up and roar of wet/day vacs went out until 2:30 am. I probably could have stood the machines but the walkie-talkies, guys yelling down the hall PLUS the vacuums did me in. And, yes, I could have moved, but I just kept thinking, they'll be done any time now, or I'll be able to sleep through it any minute. Sigh. So, the next morning the buses picked us up in the lobby at 6:45 am. Yes, 6:45 am, so we could be there for our 7:15 am breakfast meeting. I was the walking dead. The only reason I made it through the noon end of our meeting was the awesome snack tables. I have no idea how much caffeine and sugar I ingested in those 5 hours. I stopped counting the cans of coke. They put out bowls of Skittles, M&Ms and Reese's Pieces and I just popped them continuously. I told the person next to me to pinch me if I nodded off during the presentations. When we finally finished I slept in the van on the way to the airport, at the airport and on the plane. Every leg of the trip out and back was crowded until the last plane from Atlanta to Greenville. For that it was a big plane and it was less than half full. I had two seats to my self and covered up with my sweater and passed out.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Art got to drop off Alex at school for the first time. Fifth graders make up a safety patrol that opens the car door for riders and helps them out if necessary. They take their job extremely seriously. I think it has something to do with the neon yellow vests they get to wear. (They have matching umbrellas, too.) It took us a while but Alex and I have the routine down. The 15 or so cars pull up in front of the school, stop, unload children, get a business-like "Have a nice day!" from the safety patrol, then move on for the next batch of cars. Art did not know this procedure. When he stopped, Alex couldn't get out of his seatbelt, so Art is turned around in his seat, trying to help. He said he heard this thunking noise against the side of the Jeep. It's the safety patrol trying to open the door, which is still locked. Art unlocks the door which is then wrenched open, and goes back to trying to free Alex. The 5th grader is glaring at them by now. Alex gets free, gets his backpack and announces to the 5th grader, "This is my dad. He's never done this before and he doesn't know how to do anything." Nothing like an ego boost first thing in the morning.

So, I didn't get the rest that I'd hoped for. I did get a cool Arch snow globe for Alex. Art probably had way more going on than he wanted. I did get a sort of reward for my hotel misery. Our great regional team sent me a massive golf umbrella (sprinkler leak - umbrella, cute, no?) and a gift certificate for a nice restaurant. I think I'll make the guys take me out for my birthday in a couple of weeks.

Mom, can the entire first grade come over?

Alex's class went along with all of the first grades on a field trip Friday. They went over to Clemson's campus to see a play. He was really excited about riding on the bus, going to the play, etc. When they left the school they turned in the same direction we go to get home. He told his teacher, "We're just one wrong turn away from my house!" I had this flash of coming home to find all of the first grade in our backyard, playing on the adventure treehouse. I mean, this is the kid who invited everyone he met between the ages of 3 and 4 to come over. Thankfully, this did not happen.

Word of the Day

Blearily - that's going to be my word for today. A combination of the time change, Monday-ness and my effort to give up soft drinks. Again. Keep your fingers crossed for me, please!

I checked the definition just to make sure I did know what it means. Indistinct, dimmed or blurred due to lack of sleep or weariness. Here's hoping that it passes and all of you have a clearer, well-rested view than me.

Hawaii, Arizona and Us

The junior member of our household (like Hawaii & Arizona) refuses to recognize the time change. I have hopes that he will over time but the past two mornings haven't been fun.

5:17 AM, Sunday - Alex is up, comes to our room. Since he is incapable of remaining still while awake, he has to leave the bed within a couple of minutes. Here he encounters another problem. When Art goes to bed at night, he puts the TV on Cartoon Network so Alex just has to turn it on when he gets up. This buys us precious minutes of sleep we would otherwise spend blearily trying to find the "right" channel in the early morning hours. Well, before 6 AM Cartoon Network is not for kids. So, I crawled out to start his Scooby Doo DVD for him. (Thank you, library, for finding a movie for him that we haven't already seen a million times!) By 9 AM he was under the covers on the couch, but he successfully resisted napping throughout the day.

5:46 AM, Monday - I hear the familiar, thump, thud, thud, thud, pad, pad, pad (hardwood to carpet). Alex climbs in on my side. "Mom, is this a day off?" "No." "Awwww." I completely understand, especially before 6 AM on a Monday morning.

At least it is Hat Day at school. This is the Spirit of Giving Week leading up to Thanksgiving. They've got big plans. It's a kind of a combination of spirit week and a food drive. Tomorrow is Crazy Sock Day (Alex has red and black argyles), then they move on to favorite sports team shirt day, Veterans Day is red, white and blue, and then Clemson orange, purple and white day for a visit by the football team. While exciting, it also means that I must actually pay attention to what TWO people wear all week. (Alex and I are the only ones I really worry about though I reserve the right to make snarky comments about Art's clothing choices and exercise occasional veto power over said choices.)

Oh, Hat Day? He's wearing a brown foam cowboy hat. Not to my taste but it was his first choice and if he loses it, it cost less than $3!

My theory: if you can drink blue Gatorade, you're not that sick.

The Curse of Captain Hook

Well, we've just wrapped up another successful Halloween season at the Holbrooks' household. For the first time in many years we decided to consolidate the two annual fetes into one. Instead of having pumpkin carving (and lasagna) one weekend, and costumes, games and a bonfire the next, we sort of jammed it all into one day. Now that the older cousins are driving, dating, etc., it's harder to corral everyone once a month much less twice. When you have to throw in their various sports schedules, dates, the Clemson football schedule, school and church events, it gets crazy. We still had a lot of fun. The weekend before Halloween 25 or so of us gathered at Art's parents'. We started at 3 with our pumpkin carving. I think I counted 12 that were sacrificed for pagan decorations. The designs ranged from traditional (ours), cartoons (Thomas for Will, Ariel for Gracie), to the way complicated skulls, cats, trees and witches. Every year I expect to hear, "You know what? I'm tired of wasting all this time with these way too detailed stencils. I'm going with triangle eyes and nose and a crooked mouth." But it never happens.

First we had a costume parade so that the kids who were so inclined could show off their suits. I brought some of the supplies for our old standby games but the gutting and carving of 12 pumpkins is really all you can in an afternoon. After our lasagna dinner and dessert overload Art made a nice bonfire for those who wanted to char some marshmallows. The cows and donkeys were intrigued at all the activity near the fence. Davy the dog was concerned and barked at the fire repeatedly before running away. The one game that we did do was the Guess the Candy jar. We now know how many candy corn will fit in a wide-mouthed quart jar. SPOILER ALERT: 337. Jenna, who is 8 and a candy connoisseur, carefully considered the jar and guessed 320. She was the closest by far. Alex guessed 1 billion. Most of the others were more in line but Jenna did very well and was happy to take home the candy.

I'm very proud of the costume. Alex was set on "pirate" more than a month ago, so I'd been planning. I bought a pattern to make the whole thing but after reviewing it I came up with a few shortcuts. Other than inspiration and measurements I really didn't use the pattern. (Anybody need a pattern for child and adult pirate costumes?) We started with a base of black pants and a white shirt. Normally I don't buy Alex anything that is white. Case in point: he wore the pirate shirt twice before staining it with something that I haven't been able to get out. Luckily the pirate vest covers it up. I decided we could sacrifice this one. Maybe I'll get him a nice sweater vest for Christmas. I'm sure that's on his list!

Anyway, as I cut out the pattern pieces for the vest and looked at the instructions I decided that this could be easier. I went to Target and bought a $3 man's red t-shirt and took the pinking shears to it. I cut off the sleeves and the collar, then cut it open down the front. After Alex tried it on I cut a few inches off the length and took up the shoulder and side seams so it was small enough. The black boots were a concern. All we had were yellow rubber rain boots (aka "superhero boots" from last year). I couldn't find any plain black ones at a price I was willing to pay. Black duck tape to the rescue! Art thoughtfully covered the boots with it and they look very authentic. The gold satin-ish sash came from leftover superhero cape fabric. Since accessories do make the pirate we finished the outfit off with his red bandanna, a pirate hat from Target and a $3 set from Wal-mart that included a plastic gold earring, an eyepatch and a sword. Oh, and the all-important hook, we picked that up at a SC Children's Theatre performance of Peter Pan. I swear, selling those in the lobby at intermission was genius. They probably made back half the cost of the play with those things.

At school Friday the kids dressed as their Favorite Storybook Character. Alex chose Captain Hook from Peter Pan. He was a little bummed about not getting to wear the whole costume - I made him leave the hat, earring, sword and boots at home - but I had visions of him leaving some critical costume component in his cubby, locked up for the weekend. For our official Halloween Day, we went to the church's Trunk or Treat. We enjoyed seeing how the cars were decorated. Alex collected another pumpkin full of loot to go with what he already had from the previous week's party and school. After we got home we waited for it to get a little darker, then went to a few neighbors' houses. Our neighborhood usually doesn't get very many trick-or-treaters. I think Alex and I were the first to show up. Our wonderful new neighbors, Mike and Raquel, were celebrating their first Halloween as newlyweds and went all out, carving pumpkins, toasting pumpkin seeds and making hot chocolate. (Alex sampled the hot chocolate. I think he was most impressed that it was made in a tea kettle that whistled.) In a move that was repeated at several houses, they decided they might not have many kids come by and gave Alex a handful of candy. Silly us! Last night marked the most trick-or-treaters we have ever had - 30! We barely made it through before scraping the bottom of the candy bucket. I told Art if we had to, we could dip into Alex's buckets. You'd have thought I offered to sell his teddy bear! Luckily, it did not come to that. We shut the light off at 8 with a couple of Kit Kats left. My neighborhood award for best costume goes to Finn from around the corner. He's 3-ish, and was a shop vac. He had a black sort of hoop skirt/R2D2 container thing on with a vacuum hose sticking out. I thought it was genius. They did write "Shop Vac" on one side for those who lacked the imagination to see their vision. Very cool.

On to the Captain's Curse - Alex is off school today and tomorrow for teacher development day. I'm taking today off to stay with him, and Art is hanging out with him tomorrow. We've all been cruddy for a few days with allergy stuff. The usual hacking, coughing and runny noses. Alex had a stomach bug a week or so ago but seemed to bounce back, until today, our day off. The day of errands and haircuts. I was pretty sure it was allergy junk but Art briefly considered Halloween overindulgence. Until we took an inventory of yesterday's menu for Alex:

Breakfast - muffin, milk
(One nibble of a bite sized Twix that he 'fessed up to and surrendered)
Lunch - part of a chicken strip, some fries, chocolate milk
Snack at Mama Sue's - brownie, milk
Snack at Trunk or Treat - Capri Sun
While trick or treating - a few sips of hot chocolate, 5 candy corn
Dinner - butter beans, macaroni, cornbread
Dessert - one Reese's peanut butter cup

So much for gorging himself on candy. He is Art's child, after all. Well, I'm off to play cards with him. He's been up since 6, watching TV and coloring. Now we are going to play War, a teacher-recommended game to reinforce numbers and math. It probably will do my math skills some good as well!

Welcome to the Dining Room of Presidents!

This morning I was going back and forth through the dining room, getting ready for work, while Art and Alex were eating breakfast. Alex's class is apparently learning a little bit about different presidents. Or else he's picking this stuff up on the streets.

Alex: Did Thomas Jefferson have Napoleon?
Art: What?
Alex: You know, the disease, Napoleon.
Art: Oh, Franklin Roosevelt had polio.
Alex: Yeah, that's it. Was he in the Civil War?
Art: No, that was Abraham Lincoln.
Alex: Oh.

A few minutes later we were cleaning the kitchen up when he came up to me. "Mom, you know, polio - that's a bad disease." I was thinking Napoleon was no great shakes for lots of people who lived between Paris and Moscow but I decided not to go into that for now.

Later this evening, after we ate supper, we went out for a walk and the conversation turned to Napoleon again.

Art: Do you know who Napoleon was?
Me: Famous dead dude. (Everyone really should see Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.)
Alex: Yeah, he was a famous general.
Art: Of what country?
Alex: Alaska?
Art: No, France.

Thankfully that was all for historic personages today. Alex had a rough time at school so we're ready for the weekend. When I picked him up this afternoon he was short a water bottle, lunch box, keychain that he made in science class AND he'd cut a hole in his shirt during art. Threats were made. The most effective: any more holes cut in shirts and I'm going to applique flowers and little pink ponies on them.

Late Breaking News

Alex is still awake at almost 9 pm. His standard reply when you tell him he needs to go to sleep is "I only go to sleep at midnight." That's all the sleep your average superhero robot types need, apparently. I went back to try to talk him down. I said, "Maybe your nap this afternoon is keeping you awake." In a highly unusual development, Alex fell asleep in the car on the way back from Art's parents' today. I always fall asleep on the way home but he rarely does. Anyway, he disputed the claim: "I did not sleep. I drinked too much and needed to rest." What did you drink? "You know, that chocolate milkshake." Ahh, Sonic's chocolate milkshakes have put many on the path to nap-ness. Let's hope he gives up soon because I am going to sleep shortly whether he does or not.

He did tell me about a disturbing dream he had last week. From the backseat of the car, "I have big dreams, you know." I thought this might involve the hotel he wants to build in the backyard. "It had Miss Brandy in it." (His former preschool teacher.) This could be interesting. They were pretty tired of one another by the time he left preschool. "Yeah, she turned into a werewolf and eat EVERYONE. Peyton was the last to go." Oh, dear. "I'm sorry, that sounds awful." "Yes, it was HORRIBLE!" Sweet dreams, everyone!

Too cute

I picked Alex up from the kids' program at church this evening. I think he only goes so he can see Miss Edie, who leads children's education. He loves her. They went to part of a youth program this evening and there was a band. Apparently Alex "rocked out" - doing his full dance number, head banging and all. Edie said it was hysterical and she definitely was going to make sure they had music again so she could see the whole performance. On the way home Alex told me about it:

Alex: "Yeah, I rocked out."
Me: "Really?"
Alex: "Yeah, I'm too cute. She kept saying that."

No swelled heads there!

School went well this week. Alex didn't have any notes, but the ants did go marching. I ran into his teacher one afternoon while she was leaving the school. Apparently he didn't get into enough trouble to get a note, but it was a close thing. Same trouble as before, too much talking, not enough listening. We agreed that everyone involved would continue working on it.

He did dodge the behavioral bullet on Friday. There is a science program on Friday afternoons and Alex goes there for an hour after school is dismissed then goes on to his regular after school activities. Now the all-important thing at after-school care is the star on your card. If you don't get a star every day, there is a real reason and there's a report. I've only seen it happen once or twice and usually the kid in question is led away in tears when the parent signs them out. Anyway, I got there Friday and the after-school staff had posted a sign at the check-out window: "No One Gets Stars Except for Mad Science and Chess Club." What could have happened? Apparently there was some sort of general mutiny during snack time and it was so widespread that stars were withheld from everyone in the cafeteria at the time. I'm just glad Alex wasn't there.

He hates homework. He thinks it's boring. We sit at the dining room table and suffer together. You'd think I was pulling his fingernails out with pliers instead of making him copy 4 lines of the letter D. I don't have high hopes for the rest of elementary school. I didn't expect kindergarten to have homework but so far it's been practicing his writing, reading over a small book on the letter of the day or coloring something that he should have done in class but was too busy to do.

We had our first piano lesson this week, very exciting. They're only 15 minutes long, and she cuts it off as soon as he loses interest. Apparently I'm going to learn, too, since I have to sit through the lesson and make him practice the rest of the week. We've managed to pick out part of "Ode to Joy" so far - I was impressed. Alex learned about Beethoven the first week of Music at school so he was pumped. Hopefully he'll stick with it. He loves the whole singing, dancing and entertaining thing, so we thought this would help us channel it.

A recent conversation overheard from the other room:

Alex: "I'm going to have a moustache like you when I grow up."
Art: "You are?"
Alex: "Yeah. You'll be old then."

Art took it better than I expected.

One interesting new part of our morning routine is breakfast together. Alex's TV time has been cut drastically with the start of school. He doesn't have time to watch in the morning and homework curtails it in the evening. Unfortunately, he still retains all sorts of stuff that he does get to see.

1st breakfast informercial: Alex is eating Chocolate Cheerios. I'm having Special K Vanilla Almond. This is about as health as my breakfasts get. We are eating in companionable silence when Alex announces that I should really be eating Cheerios like him. Why? Oh, it reduces your cholesterol and makes your heart healthier. I didn't point out that the chocolate version can't be much better than my Special K.

2nd breakfast infomercial: Mom, I saw this great thing on TV that you need. (There are many great things that we need on TV. They usually cost $19.95 and are not available in stores. Thankfully Alex misunderstands the whole "You must be 18 to order." He thinks that means you can't play or use the product until you are 18. Whew.) I was ironing a shirt at the time. What do we need? Some sort of spiky ball thing that you fill with water and put in your dryer so that your clothes are steamed while they are dried, knocking the wrinkles out. This makes it so you don't have to iron. Perhaps I lack vision but I thought I put clothes in the dryer to dry - why would I add water to the process? I did see them in CVS today and was very glad Alex wasn't with me.

Art is finishing a project up this week. He tore down the louvred doors on the hall closet and replaced them with the solid doors from Alex's closet, which I'd had him rip down in an attempt to create a toy storage system. (That's still in the works, and believe you me, when it's done, there WILL be photos.) It really looks different. There's the usual trouble with trying to hang doors in a 50-year-old house but he hopes to be finished with 2 or 3 more hours work. Translation: 2 weeks.

I had a fun time at the 1st Annual Indie Craft Parade in Greenville Saturday. I had to wait about 20 minutes to get it but it was so worth it. It was a juried show and had all kinds of artists - paintings, paper, crochet, knit and jewelry. I found some really cool stuff but some of it was Christmas gifts, so no details here.

I gave blood for the first time today and was amazed how easy and pain-free that was. The worst part was the heat inside the bloodmobile. They were having generator problems until a kind church member (Yea, Dale!) fixed it while we were filling out our forms. I will definitely do it again, especially now that I'm in the system and don't have to fill in all the forms. Tomorrow I'm trying to jump-start my health regimen with more exercise and better nutrition. Let's all hope that it lasts for more than a day!

First Day of School

Alex started school a couple of weeks ago, and he loves it. He's an old pro now. Mimi and Paw visited the weekend before he began and we had a ball. We visited the park, went bowling and ate at a new Mexican restaurant. A good time was had by all. A couple of days before they got here we went to the school for Meet the Teacher Day. We went to see his room again and met some of his classmates. There were popsicles. Alex was thrilled to see his old friend Jack P. would be in the classroom across the hall. We got him signed up for his lunch plan and he promptly memorized the number he has to key in. (Art says he got my freakish number memory.) On the way out of the school I pointed out a new swing set that was on the playground. Alex: "Yeah, I knew it was new - it doesn't have any bird poop on it." That's one way to tell, I guess.

On the big day we were allowed to take pictures, then he told Mimi, Paw and Art goodbye. I parked and walked him in, but he went in his room without even a look at me. He'd made clear the night before what was acceptable behavior on my part. "Mom, tomorrow - no kisses, no hugs and no 'Goodbye, sweetheart's". Yes, sir. I worked him down to a high five or a fist bump. That was all I was allowed. Even more thrilling than school, what with the cafeteria serving grilled cheeses every day if you didn't like the main choices, was After School Care. Or, After School Camp, as Alex likes to call it. It is pretty good. They get a snack, homework help (if they have actual homework), and they can play in the gym, outside, watch movies or do crafts. The first couple of days I picked him up he tried to get me to come back later.

Day 2 of school brought a note from the teacher. It seems that Alex can't sit still and won't stop talking - who knew?! His ant was moved from the grass to Anthills #1, 2 and 3. This necessitated a note. I was horrified. We explained that there would be a connection between future ant movement and television watching. (Not a good connection, either.) This seemed to convince him. We haven't had any more notes. And, best of all, I've heard several people say that their kids had notes the first week to, that the teachers were particularly strict to "lay down the law." Wishful thinking? Maybe, but I'll take what I can get.

We also had to explain the connection between the number he punches in the machine in the cafeteria and money. He told us this hilarious (to him) story about Zachary getting him to put ketchup in his milk. I told him he shouldn't waste food. Alex explained that it was okay, he threw the milk away and they "gave" him another one. I told him that we have to pay for that. "No, we don't, they don't ask for money." We went over the arrangements for lunchroom payments. "Ohhhhh, I didn't know that." Well, now we know.

Today he came home with a story about someone whose name he couldn't remember ("from Art Camp, but not Mary Kate") involving blood, no fault on his part, and a tooth. I finally figured out that someone lost their tooth. I explained that it happened, we'd discussed this before. He had not know that blood or pain might be involved. The lure of the tooth fairy is not enough for blood and pain apparently. Our dentist says that is coming soon but no loose teeth so far.

Our next challenge: a pirate ghost Halloween costume. It took me a day or two to figure out it was inspired by Michael Jackson's Thriller video. I wonder where you find a child's small captain's coat? At least I have a couple of months!

Great Moments in Cherokee (NC) History

I'm taking a few moments off from threatening Alex through his homework so I can catch up on the blog. Back in July, in celebration of Art's birthday, we took a long weekend and went to Cherokee, NC. It was a little cooler there but it was still hot. We toured the Oconaluftee Indian Village where Alex was fascinated by the handmade blowguns. Art promised they could make their own when we got home. Thankfully, that has not yet happened.

We also went to Lake Fontana and saw the ginormous dam. (Biggest concrete dam east of the Rockies - fascinating, I know.) The lake is very pretty but the dam is very steep and I refused to walk across it. Alex said I was a scaredy cat. I'm okay with that.


We went to the Ranger Station at the start of the Blue Ridge Parkway and toured the Farmstead they have there, showing Alex the old-timey way things were done. He was horrified to know that they lived without running water, indoor bathrooms and electricity. The last straw for him was video games. This from a child whose only electronic devices are a portable DVD player and a handheld Leapster game. I do not look forward to the teenage years. He did think Mingus Mill was pretty cool. It was also shady, the creek was cold and good for wading and it was at least 10 degrees cooler beside it.


We were happy to make it out of Cherokee without any horrible cultural missteps. Art and I both cringed when Alex had a question in the Indian Village. We were inside the lodge where they held their council meetings and a Cherokee man was explaining their system of government. After sitting quietly throughout Alex piped up when the man was done and asked for any questions. "I have a question." Art and I looked at each other in horror. Oh, no, what could he possibly have to ask. Turns out we shouldn't have worried. Alex was worried about the lodge decor. "Is that bird by you REAL?" Our tour guide pronounced that an excellent question and showed him that the ravens were made of styrofoam and feathers. Whew.

After the village we headed to the Museum of the Cherokee Indian. I had no idea how many times we'd explained to the kid that this was something very old and Cherokee. Later that night when we headed to the next town for dinner, he saw an antique car and asked what it was. It was redone and painted dark green and bright red. We told him it was an old car. He asked, "An old CHEROKEE car?" Not so much.

Here are some pictures of the adventure, including our stop on the way home at Dry Falls, near Highlands, NC. They were beautiful and it was cool that you could walk behind the falls.



And last but not least, the things Alex told us along the trip that made us laugh (or try not to laugh). After visiting with the lady who was demonstrating how people preserved food (drying, stringing up beans, etc.) at the farmstead cabin behind a roped off door, we walked away. Alex observed, "She was nice." We agreed. "I wonder if they ever let her out of there."

As we were driving home - and it is a less than 2 hour drive - Alex got bored and was doing acrobatics in his booster seat. Upon being cautioned for about the 100th time to get his bottom out of the air and sit up, he grabbed his rear and commented, "My butt - I got it new." I thought Art was going to drive off the side of the mountain.

Apropos of nothing, Alex asked Art: "When you was a boy, did you go to juvie?" We told him he watches too much TV.

Free Service for Expectant Parents

We are very happy for our neighbors who just announced that they will be having a baby in February. Alex is excited but thinks that's a long time to wait. He did offer some advice though. He thinks if the baby is a girl, they should call it Bo. For a boy he suggests Dragon. He thinks that would be cool. I agree. And, he would probably be the only Dragon in his kindergarten class.

Entertaining AND Educational

Alex and I are spending the evening together while Art has a meeting. We had a fine dinner and are watching an educational film on Japanese culture. Okay, really, we drove through McDonald's for a Happy Meal and chicken tenders and now we're watching Godzilla Vs. Mothra. Alex is practicing lip-synching, badly, while trying to decide if Godzilla or Mothra is good or bad. Since Godzilla just took out a large pagoda (or rather a tiny model of a large pagoda), I'm betting he's the bad guy here. The jury's still out on Mothra. Highpoint of our Happy Meals: we had to wait so long for my chicken tenders that they threw in free apple pies. How good can the evening get? OOOH - tiny little tanks trying to shoot Godzilla!

Monkey Boy & the Stuffed-Up Animals

Last weekend we rearranged Alex's room. Mainly so that he could learn to make his bed. I decided with six weeks left to kindergarten, we needed to get this habit in place. The bed had been against the wall so no one could make it easily. In the midst of the furniture moving, washing of linens, etc., I removed all eleventy-fifty stuffed animals from the bed and put them in the spare room. (Several bins went in there and have remained thus far.) I figured Alex would ask for them at bedtime but the novelty of the new arrangement (or the fabulous feng shui!) kept him quiet. As long as he had his blanket and his main bear, Bearie, all was well. Until a week and a day later.

Monday morning I heard Alex go down the hall to the living room. I followed a few minutes later, thinking he would be watching his cartoons. Instead the TV was off, and he was huddled on the couch, eyes red and he was very, very upset. My first thought was some sort of cartoon problem.

Me: "What's wrong?"
Alex: "WHERE are all my stuffed-up animals?"
Me: "What?" (It was early.)
Alex: "Where did you put all my stuffed-up animals?"
Me: "They're in the middle room with the rest of your stuff."
Alex: "No, they're not, I didn't see them!"
Me: "Yes, they are, I wrapped them with a blanket when I moved them and put them on the spare room bed. Come on, I'll show you."

Stuffed-up animals were rescued and returned to their rightful place.

Alex: "I thought you threw them away."

I explained that things in this house are rarely thrown away, pointing out Art's and my teddy bears from when we were young, and my grandmother's doll from when she was a girl. I told him that I would always ask first before giving away a stuffed-up animal. Makes me feel a little guilty for all the toys I threw in the donation box when I was moving things! On second thought, no, not so much. I guess it has to have a name to make me feel guilty.

Big development at school yesterday: Alex went on the big monkey bars. The rule at preschool is you have to be able to get on the monkey bars on your own with no help. (This keeps the little ones from being "helped" up and treed.) It's taken him two and a half years of work but he finally made it on the big set. They're about five feet off the ground. There was a slight problem. On his dismount his t-shirt got hung and stretched and the other kids laughed. What did Alex do? He yelled, "HEY! My grandma gave me this shirt!" Not sure what the kids thought about that, but the shirt really isn't much the worse for wear. It was his lime green Saline Watermelon Festival t-shirt that Mrs. Joan sent through Mimi last summer. It is the only one I've seen in South Carolina but I think a spin through the washer and dryer will straighten it up.

As a celebration of his monkey bar achievement, zero time-outs and oh, yeah, Art was at a meeting, we went to Waffle House. Alex had more of an audience than usual and took full advantage of it. When the cook brought him his chocolate chip waffle Alex threw his hands up in the air and proclaimed, "I'm the king of all chocolate!" Luckily they are used to him there. That and the waitress and the cab driver further down the counter were busy discussing exactly how ankle monitor bracelets worked. (Apparently knowledge gained through direct family experience.)

Tonight we tried a new recipe for supper and it went over very well. It came from Parents magazine, and Alex went back for more after he'd cleaned his plate and had dessert. More fish sticks, that's how much he liked them.

Crunchy Fish Sticks

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 Tbs. dry mustard
Salt and pepper to taste
2 cups buttermilk
2 eggs
1 lb. tilapia or halibut, cut into 24 strips
3 cups panko bread crumbs
1/2 cup canola oil, divided

In a large bowl, mix flour, mustard, salt and pepper; add buttermilk and eggs. Coat fish with the egg mixture, then bread crumbs. In a pan, heat some oil on medium high. Saute fish in batches with more oil until done, about 5 minutes, turning occasionally. Makes 24.

Notes: this was WAY too much for us. I cut down on it some but next time I'll definitely halve it. Also, the recipe was meant to be really mild to get kids to eat but we'll add more salt and maybe some Tony's to it next time. We all liked it, so it's a keeper.

The Continuing Saga of Satellite TV

The satellite guy left at 10:30 last night. Yes, that is correct, 10:30 pm. I was so tired - I no longer cared if we had TV. Art figured out how to use the remotes and was surfing the amazing array of channels when I went to bed. At least he was until the storm hit, and it knocked out the satellite temporarily. (Luckily we're not sports fans here: the College World Series was in the final inning of the 2nd game, which USC eventually won.) Anyway, the point being all was well and working when I went to bed.

Then, Alex got up this morning before us. I assumed (ha!) that he'd sleep late since he'd been up later than usual while the TV guy was here. Nope, he popped up at his usual time and when I came into the living room he was trying to find his cartoons on the new super-duper TV. He had both remotes in his hand and was facing 42" of snow. Uh-oh. Alex asked if this was his fault. I told him that he shouldn't have messed with the remotes, but that Dad shouldn't have left them out either. I tried everything I knew to do but still no satellite, no TV and no picture. I went back to bed. Really. Art saved the day. He found the one tiny button that Alex hit accidentally and hit it again causing everything to revert to normal. Art said when he walked into the living room Alex greeted him with, "Dad, it's your fault that the TV is messed up." Way to deflect the blame!

At the library this afternoon Alex got another reward for 90 more minutes of reading (or being read to, in his case). The prize was a flipping frog. We had to ask exactly how this was supposed to work. It is basically a green rubber frog that you can shoot like a rubber band. Just what every house needs. Seriously, give me the word and YOUR house could have one very quickly. Alex has named it Frogaga.

Other breaking news of the day: Alex announced he has a girlfriend. Skyler is the lucky girl. Art asked if Skyler knew about this but I haven't heard. Since Skyler's grandpa is an awesome pizza maker this is not such a bad thing. In fact, we had pizza and calzones from his place for supper to celebrate. Okay, we had them for supper because the errands to the library and Lowe's took way too long and I no longer had time to cook. Either way, it's good food. While we were in Lowe's Alex collected paint chips to help him decide what color to paint the rooms in the hotel he is building in our back yard. I'll keep everyone posted on the completion date - it should make it way easier for us to have guests!

Odds & Ends

Apparently over the last 3 weeks I lost the will to type. I think it's the heat. I've had quite enough of it, and it isn't even July yet. I did take notes though, so I have plenty of Alex stories.

Alex happily finished up the t-ball season with one final game and an ice cream party afterwards. Of course, he doesn't eat ice cream, so we just skipped the party. I think the whole family would have happily skipped the game as well, but we did go to that part. Everyone did pretty well for the first couple of innings but it was all downhill from there. It was hot, there was no shade and very few players or fans wanted to be there. At one point the grandmother next to me urged her grandson to get up off the ground. He was lying in the middle of the infield, near the pitcher's mound, flat on his back. "Mason, you might get hit!" Mason looked at the batter and said, "I don't think so." I had to agree with Mason. There wasn't much chance that anyway 10 feet beyond the tee would get hit.

Alex played third base for the first part of the game. He chatted up all the runners, telling them jokes while they were on base. Later in the game, as attention flagged, he was moved near the pitcher. He sat down and faced center field. Again, he was safe. As the game broke up, Art looked at me and said, "Well, that's the last ballgame we ever have to go to." He may be right.

I thought we were the only slackers there who just didn't care about team sports but a week or so after the last game I got an email from the Y coordinator. Three gloves were left at the ice cream party and they were in the office if anyone needed to pick theirs up. At least we took our glove home!

A couple of Saturdays ago we got up bright and early and went to The Happy Berry to pick blueberries. Alex was amazing - he picked a pound and a half on his own. Then we came home and it was like Bubba Gump Blueberry Co. around here. We made blueberry muffins, blueberry cake, blueberry crisp, etc., etc. And we froze a lot, too. The neighbors and both of our offices got blueberry cake. It's one of the recipes that I got from Mamaw's recipe boxes (she got it from Aunt Nancy). Here it is:

Blueberry Cake

1 box Duncan Hines Golden Butter cake mix
1/2 cup cooking oil
8 oz. cream cheese
3 eggs
1 can blueberries, drained well (or 2 cups fresh blueberries)

Mix the first four ingredients well. Add blueberries, stir in. Pour into greased and floured tube pan. Bake at 350 degrees about 50 minutes.

(It will also make two loaf pans. Mamaw notes that you can substitute sour cream for the cream cheese, but I haven't tried it.)

Here are my quotes from Alex for the past few weeks:

On the way to school he asked me if we could have a Bakugan Battle when we got home that afternoon. I avoid this when at all possible because Alex is the only person in the house who "knows" what the rules are and how it is played. He had his little Bakugan figure ask me to play, speaking in a sort of faux-Mr. T voice. When I told him that I didn't really want to because I always lose, the little blue figure told me, "Sure you can. You just have to believe in your self!" We definitely need to cut down on the heroic, uplifting and inspiring Japanese cartoons around here.

In the car, with Art teasing him way too much: "I'm not here for the jokes, Dad."

In an echo of what they are probably told a million times a day at school, whenever we tell him to hurry with something, Alex replies, "Be patient." This is very annoying.

While I was explaining a rule of polite society that he'd failed to follow in the grocery store, Alex listened quietly as I talked. When I'd finished he looked at me and said, "I'm starting not to like you so much." I told him to get used to it - we had at least 13 more years to put up with each other. He started muttering about his rocket ship then.

Last week we were called in to the director's office on the way out of preschool. It seems that Alex had thrown something hard and hit Alba in the head. There was a scratch and a knot. Mrs. Karen was trying to get to the root of the problem. We couldn't quite tell if Alba was the target, or if she was collateral damage. I pointed out that we shouldn't hurt our friends. "She is NOT my friend." (I'm new at this.) Mrs. Karen corrected that, we don't hurt PEOPLE. We still couldn't get a reason out of him. Finally in a fit of frustration Alex said, "It's not like I have a control switch!" Ain't that the truth.

Part II of the Alba injury story: Alba is 5 and her sister is 3. When they got home that evening, Alba was showing off her boo-boo. When her sister asked what happened, she explained that Alex had hit her. Unfortunately, their father is also named Alex. Her sister went to him, shaking her finger and telling him that he should not hurt Alba like that. It took some explaining all around.

Last but not least, the weekend excitement in our house. In a money-saving effort (sort of), I consolidated our phone bill and satellite television. It was decided in a 2-to-1 vote that we needed a new television for this adventure and to celebrate the end of cable. We headed to Walmart Sunday afternoon. After looking at many seemingly huge screens, Art chose one. (I have no idea what the criteria were, other than my feeble attempts to get them to look at smaller TVs were definitely ignored.) Alex and I went off to another area while Art took care of things and got the TV out to the car. On the way out, Alex, who hadn't seen Art take the TV out, asked why we hadn't gotten one. We explained that we had. "Oh. Is it HD?" Why does he even know that? Yes, it is. "It would be better if we had satellite." Sigh. We're getting it this week. "Will Spongebob still be on it?" Now, we missed a golden opportunity here. Yes, all of your shows will still be on the new TV. We are now waiting for the Direct TV guy to finish up with our dish so we can see how it works. I'm sure way better than we ever needed. Art does say that the big rigs on Ice Road Truckers now look way bigger than they did on the old TV.

Alex's 4-Year-Old Kindergarten Graduation

What a big day! Alex was really looking forward to graduation. When we got to school Wednesday morning he bounced into the building, then stopped suddenly. "Where is everything?" Everything what? "You know, the stuff for graduation." Well, I'm sure you guys will be getting ready for it all day, practicing your songs, what you're supposed to do - maybe even trying on your caps and gowns. "But graduation is TODAY." Well, it's tonight at 6:30. I'll pick you up from school, we'll go home and eat supper, change and come back for it. "Oh, so it's not today, it's TONIGHT." Well, yes. So he went around to all of his classmates to correct any misconceptions they might have. "Graduation is not today, it's TONIGHT." I'm pretty sure he was the only one who was concerned.

I picked him up at the usual time that afternoon. We had a little over an hour to get home, clean up, eat dinner and get back to the school. Their lunch menus were disturbed this week due to the Memorial Day holiday and graduation commotion. So, I asked Alex what he had for lunch to make sure we didn't have a repeat for supper. Thus began his lunchtime tale:

"Well, we had waffles. I had two plates and three milks BECAUSE they threw my food away."

Me: What? Why?

"Well, I was watching a video before lunch when I realized I was the only 4-year-old class there. All the rest were from the 3-year-old class."

(I made him repeat this story to Art, just so I could hear "when I realized" again!)

"They went to lunch without me! So I went to the lunch table and Noah didn't want the lunch that he brought, so he ate mine. So, Mrs. Brandi had to make me another plate. Then, while I was eating I had to go have my picture made and while I was gone - they threw my plate away!"

(Apparently they were doing graduation pictures and they thought he was through with his food.)

"So I got another plate and another milk and THEN I finished my lunch."

Me: What movie was so good that you didn't notice lunch was ready?

"It was a Tom & Jerry and Jerry was ..." I have to admit I didn't listen after that. The kid can take an hour to describe a 15-minute cartoon. At least he got his "breakfast" for lunch - waffles, sausage and goldfish crackers. It's one of his favorite meals, at home or at school. This will be important later in the story.

So, we were back at the school at 6:20 for the kids to form up for their procession. There are 10 kids in Alex's class and there were 40 or so assorted parents, siblings, grandparents and teachers. They had emerald green caps and gowns complete with tassels and a stole that said 2010.

The class entered to the usual "Pomp and Circumstance" music and sat down, fairly calmly for this group. There are 8 boys and 2 girls in the class, so it's rowdy a lot of the time. They led the audience in the Pledge of Allegiance then sang a song called "Hello Everybody." It had lots of motions and acting out and was a lot of fun to watch. Mrs. Karen, the school's director, then explained that she was going to give out "Superlatives." She told the kids that this was where they chose the friendliest student, the most athletic, etc. Alex was on the front row and could see his audience. He interjected then, "The cutest girl in the world is...MY MOM!" I would have been embarrassed if everyone hadn't said "Awwww!" The little ham.

The kids squirmed as each of them got their awards. Alex received the "Best Architect" title for his building projects in the classroom and on the playground. Mrs. Karen talked about his Lego sculptures and he told everyone how they'd built a secret hideout just that afternoon.

(An aside: he also has plans for a type of bug zapper for his adventure treehouse. He and Art discovered a yellow jacket nest underneath it and they've been working to get rid of it - and making sure it's definitely gone - before he can play on it again. His invention involves a camera that he will mount on the treehouse which will send images to space. When yellow jackets are spotted they will be "electrocuted" with a laser. His words, not mine. Art thinks we should look into patenting it.)

The kids were pretty good up until this point. Unfortunately, attached to their award certificates were packets of Silly Bandz. For those of you unfamiliar with the Silly Bandz phenomenon, count yourself lucky. These little plastic bracelets are the end-all, be-all to the pre-school and elementary set. Their very own personal pack of bandz was almost more than the awardees could take sitting down, literally. Luckily when the superlatives were over, there was a square dance. Alex had Miss Sarah as his partner. Sarah is his favorite teacher and our regular babysitter. We are very sad that she won't be working at the school after mid-June due to conflicts with her school schedule. She's assured us that she will still be happy to babysit, though. Here's a picture of the two of them together.


During her closing statements, Mrs. Karen read excerpts from an exercise the kids did (with teachers' help) this week. They took dictation from the kids, asking them: What is the best thing you've learned at preschool? What do you want to be when you grow up? What is your favorite book/favorite color?

The answers, as you can imagine, were intriguing. About half the class (including Alex) said the best thing they learned was their letters. Alex said that was so he could "write stuff down." His friend Augustus said it was learning to climb the "big" monkey bars. Julian's answer was my favorite. He said that the best thing was learning the letters J-U-L-I-A- and N.

Their future occupations were also interesting. Anna, the girly-girl of the class, wants to teach 8-year-olds. No word on why such a specific student body. Bennett wants to be a fireman. Augustus wants to play football like his brother, then work at his parents' restaurant. Alex took the cake, though. When he grows up he said, "I would like to be a Waffle House cooker. I really want to cook waffles." Art pointed out that it would save us a bundle on college tuition. Alex has mentioned this ambition before. Maybe if I take his paper in to Waffle House we could get free waffles! The teachers mentioned that he definitely likes to eat waffles. He's not much on lunch but waffle day is the one day of the week they can count on him to clean his plate.

After it was all said and done, cake eaten, Silly Bandz compared and lots of pictures taken, we are very pleased with the graduation and all the fun we had. Now on to kindergarten. There is an ice cream social tomorrow afternoon for the kindergarten class and teachers at his new elementary school. Alex pointed out that he doesn't eat ice cream. I told him we'd take brownies just in case they didn't have anything else.

One more graduation of note this week, our niece and Alex's cousin, Alli graduated today. We are very proud of her! I told her that while her ceremony was actually a little shorter than Alex's, it was not nearly as exciting. Here is Allison Suzanne all grown up:

Playing "Press Your Luck"

I should know better, I really should. The men in my life do not respond well to to-do lists and checking things off. Yesterday I got another reminder that the 5-year-old I live with has his limits, and if you push past them, well, that way there be dragons.

Alex had a dentist appointment at 4 yesterday and T-ball at 5:45. We were actually early to the dentist, which may be a first for me. Alex is not very enthusiastic about having his teeth cleaned, but Cole's mom, Mrs. Janna, did them and he was very good for her. (It's hard for him to stop talking long enough to have his teeth done.) We were out of there by 4:15. That was even including showing all the patients in the lobby the prize he collected for coming in.

I should have gone home and let everyone rest until time for T-ball. BUT I was trying to find a time to squeeze in a haircut for the wild man before his 4K graduation tonight. So, we headed to the barber shop. Again, he was perfect. He waited his turn, sat sort of still and let Mrs. Tina use the clippers even. Life was good.

Then we went to T-ball. While we were at the barber shop there was a tremendous downpour. By the time we got to the YMCA, it had slacked off. I thought we'd be inside, which was the plan for rainy days. However since it had stopped raining they decided to play on the field. Since we missed last week while we were on our trip, we didn't know that the two teams were playing yesterday and next Tuesday. This is exciting - we are ready for the game. Except our two coaches don't show up. Apparently the storm was so bad they decided practice must be cancelled. In all, four kids on Alex's team were there, and he was the only one in uniform. The Y coordinator bravely stepped in to be their coach. The other team had seven players, all in uniform, and they'd been paying way more attention for the first four weeks than our team. Alex was ready to go after about 15 minutes. It was a long half hour after that before it was over. I consoled him when we were done: there's only one week left, then you're free.

Signs that you are at the first T-ball game of the season:

- A kid watches a bird up in the air so long that he falls over on his rear, while playing pitcher
- Your child is lapped by a runner between second and third base
- Many, many players must be reminded which way to run when they hit
- You can count on one hand how many times the ball is hit out of the infield
- When the coach yells for them to come "home" - Alex asks "Can we go home NOW?"
- Alex asks the coach to pull his finger, thankfully making fake sound effects
- Two players have to be told to "unhug" repeatedly
- There is at least one crash between a runner and a second baseman

We have learned valuable lessons during our brief foray into organized sports. One of them is that organized sports are not for us. I'm pretty sure that Alex will not voluntarily play anything with a practice schedule or uniforms for a long time to come. I won't admit that was my plan but it works out well for me!

Louisiana Trip Wrap-Up

On Saturday we drove down to Natchitoches for my high school reunion. It's a beautiful town - Steel Magnolias was set and filmed there. (They called it by a different name in the movie.) The town has grown some since I was there, mostly the area around the university. Our high school has added a beautiful new building and made some renovations to the ones we had. It was graduation weekend and alumni weekend so there were a lot of people around. The family event that afternoon was a crawfish boil. Alex didn't want to eat them, but he did ask one of my classmates if he could sit and watch her peel and eat them. He was fascinated by the process, but not enough to eat crawfish. One of my other classmate's daughters (who is fearless, apparently) led the rest of the kids outside to the caterers' trailer to see if they had any live crawfish to inspect. They had a whole bag. She showed one off. This is as close to one as Art would get. He did better than another girl - she ran back inside screaming.


We went downtown to do a little sightseeing and shopping. Alex was on the lookout for postcards to send his classmates. He picked out one with an alligator on it that said "Louisiana Yard Dog." I'm sure they were impressed. We didn't last too long downtown. The heat index was 102 degrees. After getting some ice cream to cool off, we headed inside.

Mimi and Paw were nice enough to meet us at the school and collect Alex so that Art and I could go to the LSMSA Prom Revisited - our official reunion gathering. The Louisiana School for Math, Science and the Arts (LSMSA) is located on the campus of Northwestern State University. Our prom 20 years ago was at the university union's ballroom, and we were in the same space again. (With a photographer, even.) We had a very nice time. We ate some not-yet-oil-tainted seafood, talked with a lot of people we hadn't seen in 10 years and then had a nice presentation. Some of my classmates who couldn't make it to the reunion sent pictures or videos that they played for us all. The school was nice enough to put our class video and several other clips from our school years onto DVDs for all of us. I haven't had a chance to go through the whole thing but at least now I can get rid of the old VHS tapes I have.

Alex had to visit next door before we left. Aunt Mona was hard at work in her yard when he and Mimi rode over in the golf cart. Alex drove a little but no one has forgotten the tree crashing incident of June 2009. As he admits, he does not have a driver's license yet. Before we left we promised that we wouldn't wait an entire year before we came back next time.

Here's Alex surveying the Mississippi River in Vicksburg, MS. It was awfully high when we went through. We got to see several barges and a tug boat go through. The water was so high that all the barges were using a pilot tug boat to steer them through. We watched for a while but it was entirely too hot to stay outside long. We're glad to be settled back in at home now. I've got more from this week but I'll sign off for now.

Day 2: Abbott & Costello-ing it Up/Day 3: Destination Mimi & Paw's

Our second day on the road went smoothly. Alex began watching Abbott & Costello meet Frankenstein as soon as we left the hotel. We listened to maniacal giggling from the backseat for almost two hours. We had good weather for the most part and only saw one accident - a tractor-trailer overturned in the opposite lane.

In Jackson, Mississippi we introduced Alex to one of our favorite places to stop along the way. There is a great lunch spot called Broad Street Bakery there, and the food is to die for. Art had gumbo, Alex had a luscious grilled cheese on fresh made bread with Zapp's potato chips and I had an awesome cheese pizza on focaccia bread. I also had to get one of their red velvet cupcakes for dessert. Alex got a cathead chocolate chip cookie with his meal. Seriously, it was the size of a salad plate.

I was allowed to drive from Jackson on. As we got to the Mississippi River the sky got very dark. As we got into the delta it looked worse and worse. (I think it looks so bad because you can see so far there.) We watched lightning for a few miles, then the rain hit. The temperature dropped 20 degrees. We finally had to pull off the interstate because the rain was so heavy. I couldn't see a thing. All the eighteen-wheelers pulled over to the shoulder. It was a little unnerving that the exit we got off at was Tallulah - where the tornado struck a few weeks ago. After 10 minutes or so, we were able to go on.

We made it to Mimi's office with no further excitement. Alex and I went with her to see Granny at her new place. She moved to the nursing home a few months after our last visit. They have ducks and baby ducks and a nice pond. More importantly, Santa may live there. There was a man with a long white beard in a wheelchair who greeted us with "Ho, ho, ho!" Alex is almost convinced that Santa hangs out there in the off season. We are going to assign Granny to keep an eye on him.

Today Alex is hanging out with the grandparents and waiting for Uncle Brad to arrive this afternoon. He's been up since 5:45 a.m., so I told him he may need a nap before dinner tonight. He was okay with it. He was concerned to learn this morning while watching the news that the oil spill was on their TV as well. We told him it was in Louisiana and he was quite distressed. We explained that it was on the ocean side of LA, which is a good way off, like the ocean side of SC. More on the visit later (and pictures).

On the Road

Alex was packed and ready to go last night before he went to bed. He woke me up at 4:41 a.m., saying that he'd had a bad dream. He got in bed with us, but that was too many people in too little bed. After a few minutes I went back to his room with him. He told me about his dream. A bear had killed his preschool teacher and was chasing he and his classmates. Needless to say, it took a while to get him settled down. A little after 6 I went back to my own bed. The next thing I knew it was 7:45 and Art was getting ready to go. I asked if Alex was up yet - Art said he'd been up since 10 minutes after I came back to our room. So much for sleeping late.

While Art ran in to the office for a few minutes, Alex and I got ready. We had all of our stuff ready to go when he got back. Alex was wheeling his suitcase up and down the hall asking me, "May I show you to your room?" We have a budding bellboy on our hands.

The first leg of our trip was thankfully uneventful (yes, I am knocking on wood). Hopefully we'll get to Mimi and Paw's tomorrow with a minimum of trouble. There was one argument today that arose from Alex's fundamental misunderstanding of the X-Men. I finally gave up. And, yes, I realize it's partly (at least) my hard head that started it. Since he has never seen the X-Men movies, for obvious reasons, he thinks Wolverine is X-Man. He will brook no opposition in this matter. I can't let it go. He doesn't think my being able to read is enough of a qualification to believe I know what I'm talking about. Somewhere around Birmingham I gave up.

Art and I did learn something over supper. While waiting an incredibly long time for our food at Cracker Barrel, I was playing with the little wooden peg/golf tee game. I finished with a pathetic five pegs left and told the boys that the game said that made me an ignoramous. Art said perhaps we shouldn't add that word to Alex's vocabulary at this point. Alex announced, "I heard that ignoramous is Japanese for 'loser'." I thought Art and I were going to hurt ourselves. We'll keep you posted if we learn any more Japanese!

Wal-Mart & Waffle House with Alex

Saturday Alex went with me on my errands. This is always exciting. First, we had the oil in the car changed. The highlight of this stop is looking at the hole in the garage where the guy is to change the oil. Alex is fascinated that the car drives over him. That was quick and easy with a minimum of distraction.

Then we stopped at Sonic to get food on the way to the library and Wal-Mart. Shortly after we left (before Alex ate anything but after he saw his kids’ meal toy) he announced that he didn’t feel well – his stomach hurt. Here is where I must put my interpreting skills to work. We played “Many Questions.” Does your stomach hurt, or do you not want to eat your food? Did you just want the toy? Do you need to go home or can you still make it to the rest of our stops? Do you have to throw up, or use the bathroom? We settled on him needing to go home and use the bathroom. After a quick pit stop we continued on, oh, yeah, there was the lecture about why didn’t we go at the oil change place or Sonic, etc., instead of making me drive home. There was no good answer.

Next we went to the library. We’ve got a bit of a road trip coming up so we stocked up on some books we might need. We got a couple of DVDs and a book on how to draw dragons. Hopefully that will keep him occupied for a few miles anyway. We also have Netflix sending us a couple of Abbott & Costello movies. I also have a little bag of goodies I can hand out state by state. We’ve started on the second Harry Potter book as well, but I’m not sure if I can read while we’re riding. I still can’t believe he sat through the entire first book, but he begged for a week until we started the second one.

(Poor deprived child: in the first Harry Potter book there is a mirror that shows the person looking into it the thing he wants most. After we finished reading that night I asked Alex what he would see if he looked into that mirror. “Two TVs,” he answered.)

On to our last stop at Wal-Mart. First we needed plants for the flower pots on the patio. As I’m browsing the marigolds and petunias, Alex announced that he wanted a plant that ate bugs. I told him that I wasn’t sure they had them, but we’d look. He kept finding flowers with buds on them and asking if they ate bugs. No, they don’t, so we looked inside with the house plants. None there either, we’ll keep looking. As we walked through electronics Alex tells me, “I think you should break up with Dad.” Why? It boils down to Art being an intrusion that takes my full attention away from Alex. With him out of the way life would be better, according to Alex. I brought up the one TV thing again and told him that if Dad left he might take it with him. That stopped that talk.

Alex danced and sang his way through the aisles. At one point I told him to stop. He told me, “I can’t, Mom; I’m stuck on dance mode.” Sigh.

Last night Art had a meeting so we headed to Waffle House. The waitress asked him how many time-outs he had that day. He said one, he thought. Not bad. (He told Art it was because he called someone a fathead. Not the words I would’ve chosen, but the kid does have a big head.) He continued his insistence on runny fried eggs. He had those, bacon, toast, hash browns and a waffle (and ate most of it). The only person to come in while we were there sat a couple of seats down from us at the counter. He must have been a regular because they brought his coffee right away. A few minutes later he still hadn’t ordered, so Alex asked “Why does he just have a drink and no food?” The man thought that was pretty funny. The two of them struck up a conversation; his grandson is at the school Alex will start in August. When we left Alex did one of his dance move exits (reminiscent of Michael Jackson, but G-rated) at the door. The whole place cracked up.

Tonight is T-ball. That is going much better. They got uniform shirts last week and that improved his team spirit immensely. The second practice also had them in actual positions, batting and running like in a real game. Now he’s actually looking forward to it. We may have rain but they have a good indoor space that they will meet in if we’re rained out. Hopefully he’ll be happy to be there again tonight.

Update: T-ball did not go as well as last week. Apparently the third baseman is supposed to stand while in his position. Who knew? The whole thing was a Chinese fire drill - it wasn't just Alex. Kids ran to the wrong bases, one got passed while running bases and two collided going for the same ball. I think it broke the coaches' spirit 'cause they let practice out 15 minutes early. Oh, well.

I'm including some pictures of Art's latest handiwork. He made us a rain barrel (I found the design online). He's using it with a timer to water all our plants. It's amazing how much water it collects. It's hooked up to the gutter on the shed and less than an inch of rain will completely fill it.

He also made a planter for his vegetables. It had a spotty start, as he put it in my former parking place, and I'm not good with change. I took out a terra cotta pot the first morning I left for work. (It's not like I eat tomatoes!) Alex has high hopes for the butternut squash.

The Great T-Ball Experiment

Alex’s friend Bennett is playing t-ball through the city program. When Alex saw him in his uniform (or “costume” as Alex calls it), he decided he wanted to play. Unfortunately, bad mom that I am, I had no idea when they signed up, played, etc., so we missed the city cutoff. As luck would have it, two days later, on my way home from work I saw a sign up at the YMCA advertising sign-ups for T-Ball and Coaches’ Pitch teams. I went on their website when I got home. Of course, sign-up had ended that day. I know the fabulous Y director Anna, though, and sent her pitiful email begging for an extension. She graciously (and swiftly) agreed so that our household did not have to live in suspense.

Okay, everyone who knows me knows that I am not athletic by any means. I could not care less about standing in the broiling sun (more about that later) by a ball field. But, Alex wanted to do it, AND I figured if he doesn’t learn the basics now, it will be way harder for him to pick it up in a few years when everyone else on the team already knows how to play. So, I thought t-ball was a benign way to go.

I announced that he was signed up – much excitement. We acquired a t-ball set over the weekend so we could practice batting from the tee, catching with a foam ball, etc. Tuesday was D-Day, or T-Day, as it were. Alex was really excited. He had his hat, glove and water bottle, and we headed to the Y. The Y program is a bit more low-key than the city’s. They focus more on skills and basics. Everyone gets a team t-shirt, but no uniforms or official schedules/games. So, how did practice go?

First off, it was at least 10 degrees hotter than it has been lately. The car thermometer said 85, but it felt 105, at least. Alex skipped out to the field and met his coaches, Coach April and Coach Jennifer. (Coach Jennifer’s husband helps, too, but I didn’t catch his name.) There were 12 or so kids on the team or vastly varying ages and abilities. There’s a 3-year-old that was awesome and a 7-year-old that they had to convince where the bases were. Alex falls in between. I first suspected an attention span problem when they lined up to run the bases and Alex was near the end of the line. He started flapping his arms and clucking while waiting his turn. (Establishing the class clown thing early on, I guess.) He ran the bases, all is well.

Then they divided the team in half with Alex’s group going to batting practice and the other half heading out to practice throwing and catching. Alex was the first at bat after we found a helmet that would fit on his big old head. It took him a couple of times to get the hang of it but he did pretty well. He just has to focus and keep his eye on the ball. The difficulty came after he finished. Since he was the first one, he had to wait in right field-ish for the six or so others to bat. It was hot, he was bored. He heckled a batter – “COME ON – HIT IT!” That was when the coaches decided to take a water break. This was about 45 minutes into the hour-long practice. When he made it off the field he announced that he’d never wanted to do this, was ready to leave and was never coming back. We forced him back on the field. He sat down on first base. When the rest of the team came out he got up for a minute. There was a hit near mid-field and two or three others tried to get the ball as well as Alex. When he didn’t get there in time he threw down his glove and stomped on it. Another kid kicked at it, and I thought there might be a knockdown drag-out for a moment but Coach April stepped in. Art was trying not to laugh and I was hiding behind a tree. She got them separated but that was pretty much it for Alex. He sat down, took off his hat and glove and pouted. The coach tried to get him up for a minute but gave up. Shortly thereafter they had a team huddle to end the practice. Alex (through a combination of intense sign language gestures and yelling) was made to participate. The team (except for Alex) voted on a team name. They are now the Green Gators. The coach told me, “I think he was upset that the name he wanted didn’t win.” I thought she’d lost him a good ten minutes before that, but I didn’t say so.

Alex dragged his feet and pouted all the way home. He said he was never going back. I got out of him one reason he didn’t like it. He thought there’d be a ready made team with a game right away, scorekeeping, etc. I explained that they had to learn the rules before they did that and the games would come later. He still wanted to quit. I told him it was only six weeks. He has five more weeks with one practice each week, so 5 hours total until June. He was on the fence until I told him that if he didn’t finish I was selling his toys until I got my money back. That sealed the deal.

At school the next day his teacher asked me how it went, since he’d talked so much about it. She said that he told them how they were learning the rules and how much fun it was. Little turkey.

Another note from school: they may have found a way to get him to behave at naptime. When I picked him up yesterday I asked what they had done in school. Here’s the list:

- ate hot dogs
- played outside
- learned about Cinco de Mayo
- visited the babies’ room (the 2-year-olds’ class)

Hmmm. Why did you go see the babies? Did you have storytime together? “No, they sent me over there because I kept talking to Michael and waking him up during nap.” It turns out that his punishment is to take his mat into the 2 year old room. He doesn’t know them very well and they are “babies” so he doesn’t talk to any of them. I don’t think he sleeps but at least he doesn’t bother anyone else. He’d told Art that he’d been in the baby room the day before as well, but Art didn’t ask for what. So they’ve done it at least two days and his teacher says it works. Not bad.

Week in Review

Okay, let's see where I left off. Mom and Dad got here for their visit last Sunday. They were delayed a day by the storms and tornadoes that went across Mississippi AND trying to find a place to stop for the night. They managed to stay behind the storms but couldn't get any closer than Tuscaloosa on Saturday because everything was booked up for the races at Talladega. Alex had big plans for them and couldn't wait for them to get here. We told him Saturday night that they'd be here the next day. I woke up at 7:45 Sunday morning and he was standing at the foot of our bed, arms crossed. "You SAID they'd be here today. I looked outside - THEIR CAR IS NOT HERE!" They did get here before lunch and he was well pleased. Alex, Mimi & Paw were going to stay here Monday while Art and I had to work. I asked them what they were going to do while we were gone. "Oh, you know, just be together."

Sunday afternoon we had to return some books and DVDs to the library. I asked Mom & Dad if they wanted to ride with us. They thought they'd rather hang around the house and rest some but Alex was having none of that. He really talked up how awesome his library was, so they decided they would go. When we got there Alex told Paw the rules - "You have to be quiet and you can't run away." Paw said he'd try to behave. Then we walked in, and how wonderful - Alex's librarian was there! Alex thinks Mrs. Patty is his personal librarian and no one has convinced him otherwise. He made the introductions. A red letter afternoon.

Since Mom & Dad had to leave on Wednesday morning we decided to go out to eat Tuesday night. I asked Alex to change shirts (he was wearing a kind of ratty t-shirt). "Is this place fancy?" I told him not quite fancy, but a little nicer than a t-shirt. "I need to wear my tie." We discussed this, strenuously. In the end, I ironed his one and only white dress shirt, which he left untucked, with his pants and red Crocs, and he wore his one and only tie, from Easter a year ago. He really impressed the waitresses. He also talked in "fancy language" which has no correlation to any language I've ever heard. This morning I asked if he wanted to go to church with me. Negotiations broke down when I mentioned that his dress shirt was still in the laundry, so he couldn't wear his tie. He stayed home with Art.

Alex was sad when Mimi & Paw had to leave but we consoled him with the fact that we're going to visit them in three weeks. He has it marked on his calendar and he's ready to go.

Yesterday on the way to the grocery store:

Alex: "Mom, do you know what I am?"
Me: (unsure) "What?"
Alex: "I'm a singer-songwriter."

I quizzed Art about this later and he told me during one of the many singing spells that Alex takes every day, Art asked him who wrote the song he was singing. Alex told him that he does all his own material. Art mentioned that he told him he was a singer-songwriter. That was two weeks ago, so I guess he was just saving it up for me. He has been singing (over and over and over again) a snippet of a song that I finally decided was "All Star." I thought he would like it if I downloaded it from iTunes for him. I did, and called him in while I played it. He started dancing, and I asked if he knew that song. "Yeah! That's the song from Shrek." Isn't that what you've been singing to us? "NO!" Well, excuse me.

The Harry Potter saga continues. We're past the 200-page mark. I thought he was ignoring me tonight but he's fascinated my the invisibility cloak in the story. He also made Art play chess with him today (wish I'd been here for that!) which they did in the book a day or so ago. Thankfully we don't have much more to go. I'm looking forward to Art reading regular books to him again. When we went to the library yesterday I got him several on Vikings because he was asking lots of questions after seeing "How to Train Your Dragon." (He was disappointed to learn that I was never a Viking.) HE chose a children's book on anatomy. Why, you say? Because it has "bottoms" in it - "lots of bottoms." Sigh. That's where I'm going to leave it for now. Tuesday T-ball starts. Art's theory: Alex is not a team player kind of guy. My theory: even if he isn't, he needs to learn the rules of baseball before he turns 12 and wants to play with the guys and just looks silly. I'll let you know how it goes. It's a fairly low-key YMCA program - "instructional" they call it, more of a learning experience than anything. It starts this week and goes midway through June.

Playing Catch-Up

The allergy monster has been running amok around here. I think I'm finally getting it under control but it's been miserable. The neighborhood is beautiful, just everything is dusted in yellow. The azaleas are towards the end of their run, and the dogwoods, too. While I love the beautiful flowers I can't wait for everything to finish blooming!

So, to catch up on my Alex stories for the past week or so. From yesterday, when we were discussing baldness for no reason:

Alex: Krabby is bald.
Me: He is? He doesn't have ANY hair?
Alex: Mom, he's a crab.

Should have seen that one coming. He also had a big announcement to make last week. He broke it to me and Art:

Alex: There's going to be some changes around here.
Art: Oh, really? Like what?
Alex: Well, first, I'm going to watch TV every night. Except when I'm bad at school. And, I'm going to floss every day.
Me: Is that all?
Alex: No, I'm going to get a baby brother, too.
Me: From where?
Alex: The doctor.

A few days later he mentioned the baby brother again.

Me: You're still getting a baby brother?
Alex: Remember, Mom?! CHANGES!
Me: Are you flossing every day?
Alex: Oh, not yet.

It turns out that Richie, a three-year-old at his school, just got a baby brother. I told Alex maybe he should see how it turned out for Richie before he rushed into anything.

In other school news yesterday they learned about "Feathered Friends" and Cade's dad brought one of their own personal chickens to meet the class. Poor bird. Alex did a great impression of it being "startled" by Noah and flapping across the room. Startled was his word, not mine. I figure it was more scared to death.

The big news around here these days is the impending visit by Mimi and Paw. Alex is doing a countdown. They are coming the day after Show and Tell, AND he gets to stay home from school two days to visit them. Way exciting!

Hard-Working Husband

 

 

I just wanted to show off Art's latest project. We'd been talking about replacing the old sliding glass doors we had, and he decided to do it a couple of weeks ago. I was a little concerned about the large whole in the house but it worked out well. He had the usual problem with our house - nothing is square, level or straight. It looks great now, though!